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The teller at the bank offers the opportunity to invest twenty dollars. Both times I've done so, he's narrated a complicated sequence of dubiously legal transactions before informing me, in an appropriately sympathetic tone, that my money is all gone.

Is this man a two bit swindler ripping off mute fourth graders because he knows they can't report him? Or is he really on the up and up and just dubiously competent? Can I ever invest my hard earned money profitably?

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I am not sure if I should write an answer, mock you or raging at you for not knowing the reference here :D. (I am a pathetic nerd when it comes to Southpark) – Assylum Mar 5 '14 at 9:20
This question should not be on the Hot Network Questions list. Without context, it sounds a little disturbing. – AsheeshR Mar 5 '14 at 13:56
@AsheeshR Welcome to Arqade! You must be new here. – badp Mar 5 '14 at 14:03
@AsheeshR Welcome to Arqade! Allow me to introduce you to our discussions of cannibalism, alcoholism, child abuse, sacrilege, and nether monsters. – LessPop_MoreFizz Mar 5 '14 at 14:05
@AsheeshR That won't be a bug, simply the end of our conquest – BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft Mar 6 '14 at 1:25
up vote 53 down vote accepted

... aaand it's NOT gone, as it turns out!

While, yes, this is callback to the Margarita Ville episode, you can get your money back! After you gain the ability to shrink, you can go behind the counter through a mouse hole and hit the banker with your melee weapon to start combat. Once you beat him, his body will have an amount of coins on him equal to 150% of your total investment.

While I was not expecting to get my initial $20 investment I made near the start of the game back, when I first beat him he had $30 on him. So I quickly reloaded the auto-save, invested another $20, beat him, and his body had $60!

The upper limit on investments is $60; he will take more, but it will not increase the loot beyond $90. This seems to be roughly consistent with the number of variations in his investment spiel, so once he proclaims the you are an experienced and sophisticated investor, do not invest any more money. The banker will not respawn after you have beaten him, so this is a one time withdrawal.

As @LessPop_MoreFizz pointed out in the comments, while the base value of his loot is 150% your total investment (for a maximum of $90), you can further increase it by equipping armor and patches that increase money rewards. So by equipping the full pre-order assassin set, and a bunch of magnet type patches (Small Magnets, Buckyball Magnets), you can increase the return on your investments to $150!

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Ok, unless you are willing to do some experimenting, do not invest more than $60! $90 seems to be the limit for looting him. – Trent Hawkins Mar 5 '14 at 12:23
VERY IMPORTANT ADDITION TO THIS ANSWER: Money dropped by the bank teller after investing is modified by gear and stickers that increase loot dropped. It's not a particularly hard fight, so I went in with the full preorder Assassin set, loaded up with Buckyball stickers, and turned my 60 dollar investment into a $150 return! Not bad, if I do say so myself. – LessPop_MoreFizz Mar 8 '14 at 18:14
Has this been flat-out confirmed that investing over 60 dollars is always useless? Does he ever respawn? – Ender Mar 11 '14 at 20:17
@Ender Yes, and no, he doesn't. I'm not sure why this clarification request needed a bounty... – LessPop_MoreFizz Mar 11 '14 at 23:52
@LessPop_MoreFizz probably because my answer left some doubt as to the exact mechanics (wasn't sure on the maximum investment, didn't know if the banker respawned). I've also added the information you've provided about increasing the reward money. – Trent Hawkins Mar 12 '14 at 20:40

This is a reference to the episode "Margarita Ville" of Southpark in Season 13, Episode 3, which is related to the banking crash a couple of years ago.

You can see the original scene here:

So yeah, it is a scam.

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According to the answer by Trent Hawkins it isn't. – Philipp Mar 7 '14 at 8:21
@Philipp: If you have to kill him in order to get your money back, then I'd consider it a scam. – erb Mar 21 '14 at 19:23
And it's gone. The video, I mean. It's been taken down. – Zachiel Jul 16 at 9:39

protected by Community Mar 13 '14 at 21:06

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