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I'm Khergit Rebels. They're Rhodoks. My faction relation is -100, and my relationship with the lord inside is -17. We've been at war for nearly a year.

But when I click on the castle, it only gives me two options: hail the guard and talk to the asshole inside... or leave. Why?

One of my fellow Khergit Rebels is also here, and Reindi says [Under Siege] on the map. Is my buddy already building the ladders or something? I wanna start this thing NOW.

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    the castle can remain under seige for a short while even if someone seiging it has stopped the seige
    – l I
    Commented Apr 15, 2013 at 11:50

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You can't besiege a castle already under siege, and until the besiegers engage in battle (they'll ride into the castle on the map) you won't get the dialogue to talk to the commanders or join the battle.

Patience is a virtue my friend. If you absolutely must kill the time, you can set up camp in the Camp menu.

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    sometimes the beseigers will leave, but the castle will remain under 'seige' status for a day or two
    – l I
    Commented Apr 15, 2013 at 23:56
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    You are correct. My fellow rebel left his own siege without attacking; I wandered the map for a week, and then had no trouble sieging the castle.
    – AndrewNordFace
    Commented Apr 16, 2013 at 1:50

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