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I opened a tin can and ate something with my hands, which made them greasy. Now holding a weapon is impossible, and so is wearing rings. I tried #wipe but it seems that's only for the face. How would I wipe my hands?

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You need to find a towel and apply it.

If you lack a towel, the effect should go away in due time without you needing to do anything. According to Wooble in the comments, this is specifically up to 15 turns.

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    The slippery hands effect lasts up to 15 turns, which really isn't all that horrible most of the time. – Wooble Feb 16 '11 at 13:34

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