Like I know I need ps4 plus to actually go online but do I need to also have gold for this to happen
No, you do not need XBL Gold for you to transfer from Xbox to PS4. Here are instructions that walk you through the process of transferring as well.
In short: Once you have made your PS4 account you will need to link your GTA social club account and XBL account. Then when you sign in you should be prompted to start the transfer.