It is not clear what you mean with "your parachute turns red", because the foreground color and background color of the parachute icon have different meanings.
The foreground color represents the current status of the parachute
- White: safely packed
- Cyan: activated, but still packed because the atmospheric pressure is still below the configured "Min Pressure"
- Yellow: partially deployed, because the distance to the surface is still above the configured "Altitude".
- Green: fully deployed
- Red: Destroyed. Note that you will usually also get a text message "Parachute destroyed by aerodynamic forces" when this happens.
The background color of the parachute icon represents what's likely going to happen if it would get unpacked in the current situation:
- Red: It's almost guaranteed that it will get destroyed immediately
- Yellow: It might or might not survive if it opens now
- Grey: It is save to open the parachute
But in any case: parachutes will only open if the stage they are on is activated or if they are activated manually by right-clicking on the part and pressing the deploy button. The logic works like this:
+-----------------------+
| Did the player deploy | Yes
| this parachute +-----------------+
| manually? | |
+-----------------------+ |
| |
|No |
| |
v |
+-----------------------+ +--------v----------+
|Did the player activate| Yes |Is the atmospheric |
|the stage this +-------->pressure above the |
|parachute is on? | |configured value? |
+-----------------------+ +-------------------+
| Yes
+--------v----------+
|Deploy parachute |
|partially |
+-------------------+
|
+----------v-------------+
| Is the height above |
| ground lower than |
| the configured value? |
+------------------------+
| Yes
+--------v-----------+
| Deploy parachute |
| fully |
+--------------------+
(graphic created with ASCIIFlow)
That means if you trust the atmospheric pressure setting you've set, you can theoretically activate the parachute while still in orbit. But if you want to retain control, you should hover over the spacebar during reentry and press it when the parachute icons turns grey.