My family is an Apple household (Macs and iOS devices), and we are getting into Minecraft. I've been trying in vain to find a definitive answer as to whether there are any options for letting family members use these separate devices to play on common servers or worlds.
It seems doubtful at this point, but I cannot find a trusted source that says, Yep, it's not possible in any way, so you can stop trying to find a solution.
The Minecraft website has a feature comparison, and both Mac and iOS are listed as sharing common features, namely "Realms," "player-hosted multiplayer servers," and "LAN or WiFi Multiplayer." The Minecraft page on the App Store for iPhone and iPad also advertises “Play with friends on mobile (and) PC...!” (See screenshots.)
I briefly thought that the "Realms" feature was our ticket, since the option was displayed prominently on the interfaces of both Mac and iOS. But when I had trouble getting them to work, I learned (on Arqade and elsewhere) that this common feature is actually restricted. Namely, users can only play with each other if they're running the same Minecraft edition, e.g. Java (on our Macs) or Bedrock/Pocket (on our iPad/iPhone).
I tried looking for Minecraft multiplayer server communities that host both platforms, but I've come up short.
I tried researching what it would take to host a home-based server, but I wasn't able to determine if it would be worth the effort.
We were able to get our iPad and iPhone to run multiplayer on our LAN/WiFi, but my Mac was unable to see this activity.
Are there ways to make these different Apple devices play nice with each other, or are we SOL?