Since the Shadowlands Prepatch, I'm getting the dialog in the image below every time I log in, and sometimes after logging out of a character to switch to another. The way I want my addons to be set up is that they are enabled, but the "Load out of date addons" checkbox is disabled, so as they are updated they'll already be enabled. Unfortunately, the first option actively disables the addons (so even after they update I have to enable them manually), and the second option enables all of them and also enables "load out of date addons," and there does not seem to be a way to cancel it without taking action. Is there an option somewhere to disable this dialog? Even when I hit load anyway it seems to come up every time I log in.
This is unfortunately something that happens with every major/minor patch. The check against your addons happen every time you log in until the addons are patched or removed. Your best way to avoid this message is to just disable them (as much as you don't want to). And then re-enable them when the addon has been updated.
What you're asking the game to do is to contradict itself, if you want an addon enabled then it has to be checked during loading. But if it's out of date, you're going to get that message. But if you check the box that says "Load out of date addons" you won't get that warning message, but you'll also have addons that may or may not work properly because they're enabled and out of date.
You can't have it both ways.