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I have really bad arachnophobia steaming from past childhood trauma. I'm playing a server with friends, it's a vanilla server so there are no mods and no plugins, and peaceful mode is not an option. Neither is exposure therapy as my PTSD and anxiety are too high, but I wanna have fun and play with my friends without having to worry about being jumped by spiders.
Is there any way to do this or will I just not be able to play?
A resource pack changes what stuff looks and sounds like (which are client side things) but it doesn't change how it behaves (which is a server side thing).
So you could make a resource pack that made spiders (both regular spiders and cave spiders) look and sound like something other than spiders, but they would still act like spiders (climbing walls, in the case of cave spiders giving you poison status when attacking).
When I google minecraft resource pack spiders, the third hit I got was https://www.curseforge.com/minecraft/texture-packs/spiders-be-gone, a pack that claims to replace spiders with ladybugs, though it does apparently require Optifine.
If your friends are alright with playing without spiders, the admin of the server can give themselves a command block (/give @s command_block), place it (preferably somewhere normally out-of-reach), and enter the command tp @e[type=minecraft:spider] 0 -80 0 into it, setting the options to Repeat, Always Active, and Unconditional.
This will immediately teleport any spiders that happen to spawn under the world so they can fall to their deaths.
Alternatively, if you want free string and/or spider eye items, you can kill them where they stand with kill @e[type=minecraft:spider].
If you don't want to bother your friends too much, you could instead only murder spiders that happen to be around you. To do this, add the tag arachnophobia to yourself with /tag <your_name> add arachnophobia and then put this command in the command block: /execute as @a[tag=arachnophobia] at @s run tp @e[type=minecraft:spider,distance=..32] 0 -80 0. You can change the distance (32 is used here) as required.
Have fun!
