The teller at the bank offers the opportunity to invest twenty dollars. Both times I've done so, he's narrated a complicated sequence of dubiously legal transactions before informing me, in an appropriately sympathetic tone, that my money is all gone.

Is this man a two bit swindler ripping off mute fourth graders because he knows they can't report him? Or is he really on the up and up and just dubiously competent? Can I ever invest my hard earned money profitably?

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    I am not sure if I should write an answer, mock you or raging at you for not knowing the reference here :D. (I am a pathetic nerd when it comes to Southpark) Commented Mar 5, 2014 at 9:20
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    This question should not be on the Hot Network Questions list. Without context, it sounds a little disturbing.
    – asheeshr
    Commented Mar 5, 2014 at 13:56
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    @AsheeshR Welcome to Arqade! You must be new here.
    – badp
    Commented Mar 5, 2014 at 14:03
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    @AsheeshR Welcome to Arqade! Allow me to introduce you to our discussions of cannibalism, alcoholism, child abuse, sacrilege, and nether monsters. Commented Mar 5, 2014 at 14:05
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    @AsheeshR That won't be a bug, simply the end of our conquest Commented Mar 6, 2014 at 1:25

2 Answers 2


... aaand it's NOT gone, as it turns out!

While, yes, this is callback to the Margarita Ville episode, you can get your money back! After you gain the ability to shrink, you can go behind the counter through a mouse hole and hit the banker with your melee weapon to start combat. Once you beat him, his body will have an amount of coins on him equal to 150% of your total investment.

While I was not expecting to get my initial $20 investment I made near the start of the game back, when I first beat him he had $30 on him. So I quickly reloaded the auto-save, invested another $20, beat him, and his body had $60!

The upper limit on investments is $60; he will take more, but it will not increase the loot beyond $90. This seems to be roughly consistent with the number of variations in his investment spiel, so once he proclaims the you are an experienced and sophisticated investor, do not invest any more money. The banker will not respawn after you have beaten him, so this is a one time withdrawal.

As @LessPop_MoreFizz pointed out in the comments, while the base value of his loot is 150% your total investment (for a maximum of $90), you can further increase it by equipping armor and patches that increase money rewards. So by equipping the full pre-order assassin set, and a bunch of magnet type patches (Small Magnets, Buckyball Magnets), you can increase the return on your investments to $150!

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    Ok, unless you are willing to do some experimenting, do not invest more than $60! $90 seems to be the limit for looting him. Commented Mar 5, 2014 at 12:23

This is a reference to the episode "Margarita Ville" of Southpark in Season 13, Episode 3, which is related to the banking crash a couple of years ago.

You can see the original scene here:

So yeah, it is a scam.

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    According to the answer by Trent Hawkins it isn't.
    – Philipp
    Commented Mar 7, 2014 at 8:21
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    @Philipp: If you have to kill him in order to get your money back, then I'd consider it a scam.
    – erb
    Commented Mar 21, 2014 at 19:23
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    And it's gone. The video, I mean. It's been taken down.
    – Zachiel
    Commented Jul 16, 2016 at 9:39

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